behind the scene drama

Uugh....I've shed too much tears for the duration of this movie were making...And am not even one acting!Haha..yeah...my drama's all behind the scenes (is this the curse of being behind the camera?)...

I think I've even beaten Santino(a child star in this show where he cries so easily ) on his crying moments for one episode....Mine's good for a whole week! LOL..ok...exagerated much?...but yeah...my eyes are so puffy-puff-puffed right now...

Oh yeah...the reason?...

me+parents-trust= effin tears...

I mean, I know teens now a days..are well..you know...unreliant?..but COME ON! Imagine....working so hard on something....going home late....even getting yourself wet by the rain just so that you could prove to them that you ARE doing something important...that it's not just for mere fun and games...When in the end, they go making stupid accusations AGAIN..

How could they not see how much effort am putting...not just for the movie....but also to earn their trust too...

Are parents really that blind??? Or is it just mine?

Ok...I think am getting too emotic now...If I continue to type....who knows how emotionally log this post could get ..

I just needed to release it all or I might pop my sockets out

Sorry for the drama

~Shei

Diba dapat on Hiatus ako?

Di ko talaga mapigilan sarili ko...

Tinatawag kasi ako ng pinakamamahal kong computer...

Nahuhuli na talaga ako sa mg gawain sa school  

Tsaka palapit na rin yung pinakaunang periodicals namin sa taong to'! 

Nastrestressed na ako dito! 

Bakit pa ba kasi di wala akong control sa sarili ko...

Kailangan ko ng magbago...

Tsaka na "realize"ko na di ako gaanong mabuting kaibigan  

Naguguilty tuloy ako...feel ko ang sama ko

Parang di ako karapatdapat sa kanila...Lintek! 

Ayoko maging ganitong klaseng tao!

Magpakatino na ako simula ngayon...

Maging masmabuting kaibigan at hayop tao na ako ngayon.

Facing fears

Approximately 36 hours before I have to recite a 10 paragraph oration about how we should believe in ourselves...for everyone to hear and judge me...eyes staring...aaaah!

Having to do something in front of a large crowd is one of those things that would make me crawl under a hole and not come out till the next decade! Ok, I've made a hyperbole there but seriously, I hate public appearances. Especially when I'm the only one! I don't know why I'm so fearful of it. I used to remember when I was a lil' girl how I'd crave for the spotlight and attention. The more people the better! But I wouldn't say that now...

But I really am determined to conquer this fear of mine. It does me no good at all. And, I'm pretty sure what's the root of a all of this...I'm scared of judgement...It injures me so badly inside hearing side comments and critics...But now as Im writing this, I've realzed something....

Happiness is all around ^-^

It's really true what they say that you don't have to look too far to find joy and inner happiness. Since most of the time, or maybe even all the time, the root of true joy aren't those high-class things or well-known titles. It's usually those simple-yet-one-of-a-kind everyday experiences...

Like right now, I experienced great felicity after watching an amazing movie entitled "Akeelah and The Bee." It's like after seeing it, I felt so light inside that nothing would be able to bring me down. Then I received 3 messages that made me smile even more! One is from my bestie-slash-long-lost-sister declaming the oh-so-amazing-fact about our friendship ^-^...Then was an invitation to one of my close friends birthday which at first I though it would be impossible for me to attend -.-, but later realized there is a high chance of me being able to attend it^-^ and the last was from the Guy! No, not anything that would make my hair stand (LOL) but instead, just a simple goodnight which added to my already-happy-mood...

So here I am now, sharing with you my cheerful bug hoping you would catch it too^-^

Lotsa love,

Sheydilee

P.S. You have no idea where I'm typing this right now! C'mon guess? hahaha...if you ask me yourself then I wouldn't mind telling..tihihi

Moving on and letting go….

(Sorry for the late post!)

After countless moments of reflecting how I don’t need him in my life and trying to get over those times that the emptiness-slash-loneliness had been devouring me from within, I can finally say that I’ve moved on…Moved on from that pit of longing that I placed myself in when I decided to let him go. Knowing that if I didn’t get my thoughts together, I could never have gotten away from that place.

Yes, I admit that I still feel the loneliness at times and that I constantly daydream of means to make you jealous and regretful for why you just let me slip away, evil isn’t it? Hahaha…But you cant blame me for that’s the only state which I can make you terribly envious and hurt just like how I felt during those times that I’ve found out how you’ve been, no offense, a flirt to my very best friend. Yes, I’ve been holding to this grunge on you because of all the things I’ve heard my best friend say. I mean, do you know how hard it is to simply reply to you when you text me with that cheery-with-a-smiley texts of yours without being moody?  Or those times when I do decide to act normal through text then you just reply me with a bland ‘ahh…ok.’?!? So basically, I just don’t reply to you at all, trust me, that takes a whole lot of self control on my part! Why? For months I’ve been accustomed to replying to you no matter what! Regretting how much load I spent afterwards! But, right now, I don’t hold on to those feelings any more, erm…or should I say that I’m letting go of it bit by bit. I’m fine now but I think the distance we have right now is best. Time will come when I or uhm we would be able to see each other face-face and feel no bitterness anymore

Huhai, wow, that was such a speech! Eheheheh…Don’t worry, I haven’t lost it! (Well not yet! Hahaha)  If there is anyone reading this right now, I apologize for the super sappy-slash-whatever paragraph above. (It’s dedicated to him actually…notice all the ‘you’s’ ^-^)

I know it’s pretty long but am happy to say that this will be the last dramatic post I’ll be making dedicated to that half-wit guy out there… I just felt like this is the perfect time to let it all out and a HUGE step for me to let go and start moving forward(wee…meet the Robinsons! Hardiharhar!) and if there would be another post about the guy, am hoping it wouldn’t be as serious-slash-dramatic-slash-negative as this one..maybe good even! ^-^

Well, am back to the crazy me again so I guess that’s my the cue to say

Byeboo!

~sheydilee~

 

sUmMEr bLaHs!!!

Ugh!...I feel pukish but I dont know why....

I'm sooo bored that even the internet can't save me...

I'm damn tired but I wanna do something...then again...

I'm too tired to do anything!!!

*yawns*

I can't seem to find anything FUN to do...

I NEED ADVENTURE and NATURE! and...I NEED IT NOW!!!

~sheydilee~